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How To Get Clear On What Partner To Choose

Updated: Jun 3, 2021

Okay, I get it. Dating is absolutely thrilling and exciting and sometimes those feelings can mix us up in our heads. I mean, think about it, it is like going on different adventures with multiple people and sometimes we let our feelings and emotions lead the way. But I am here to say that we MUST take our brain with us too! And we MUST get clear on what kind of partner we need NOT necessarily who we want or should date. So, let me explain even further. Because I can already sense the confused faces behind the screen. In short, make a list and reflect on yourself first.

  1. Date Yourself First.

I genuinely mean taking yourself on a hike or the beach to see what you enjoy doing and what you do not like. Take a journal with you wherever you go, and start writing down what makes you feel good and not so great. Jot down any thoughts that make you uncomfortable and make sure you understand your own needs. Reflection on yourself will help you find a partner that better aligns with who you need instead of what you want. I understand it can be a challenge to steer away from people you want to date because it can feel playful and euphoric but go back to your journal and remind yourself who you deserve.

2. Create A List

So, after you take enough time for yourself and figure out your own dislikes and likes, it is time to make a list! With this activity, you can light up a candle, put some relaxing music, and start making a list of 5 qualities you must have in a partner. This can be physical traits, personality traits, beliefs, goals, etc. Then, once you are finished with 5 must haves, create another list of 5 qualities you will not stand. I will show you an example on how to create the list on how to get clear on which partner you need so that you can use it while being in the dating scene.

Must Haves

  1. Nice Smile

  2. Values Quality Time

  3. Relationship with God

  4. Goal-Driven

  5. Spontaneous

Can’t Stand:

  1. Lack Empathy

  2. Arrogance

  3. Bad Hygiene

  4. No relationship with God

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